Looking forward, looking back...

I always look forward to Fr. Roy celebrating the English mass in Aimutin because of his homily. Today is the first Sunday of Advent, the beginning of a new calendar year for the Catholic Church. His homily revolved around how to begin a new year. To do this, he said you have to look back in order to look forward. Meaning, reflect on what happened in the past year and think of how next year could be better. 

Looking forward, looking back. A short line but full of meaning which made me reflect on how has been this year to me. I would say that 2011 has been good to me although the beginning was challenging with mama's health condition. But I am indeed thankful for she managed to sustain her good health condition after her hospital confinement in January. I would always be grateful to my family and relatives who have been with her during my absence. 

Personally, I have become stronger and braver. I don't know if it goes with the age but I have made decisions which I knew I wouldn't take 5 years ago both personally and professionally. 

This year also marked the year when one of my fondest dream came true. I acquired something I longed to have. A decision which I braved to take.  

I left the perks and comfort of being a UNV in UNDP. I loved my work, but I couldn't sense any fulfillment in what I was doing. I took this decision without any regrets. Now, I am enjoying my work despite the challenges ahead of me for I am starting a break-through in the monitoring and evaluation system of our organization. The first few weeks were difficult but I am now well-settled with my work and living environment. 

Love life has also been good. The beginning of the year started well. Despite all the complications, I am still there. However, I have become stronger and braver to show him that I can let go of him, no matter how difficult it might be. Because of this, he has improved a lot, he is back to where we started. 

With the help of internet, family gets closer despite the distance.  

I found new friends in Timor Leste which made adjustment, life and living less challenging. Old friends remained to be good and more closer. Old friends mean high school and my two best buddies, Miriam and Jessamyn who may never understand some of my decisions in life but they have remained to be there for me. 

Looking back, I have so much to be thankful for. I just hope it would continue to be until the end of this year. Looking forward, I do hope 2012 would be a better year for me, if not, at least the same as this year. 

I uttered a short prayer intention after the homily, a prayer I have been praying for a long time. I leave it up to His mighty hands if 2012 would be the right time for Him to give it to me.