Wednesday, November 30, 2011

A journey into meditation....

Meditation always amazes me because just the thought of doing it makes me admire people and I knew that I would't manage to do it myself. I always have an impression that it needs so much concentration which I have very low tolerance level. But thanks to facebook because I discovered Dr. Chopra and through his updates I got this website of his daughter Mallika Chopra. It's something I have been looking for, which puts meditation easy to do. There is an on-line course on meditation with Mallika and I decided to try it. 

According to her: Though there is no set time on how slowly or how quickly you go through each lesson, we recommend that you space out three days between each lesson so you can fully commit to the core meditation and mindfulness practice contained in each lesson before moving onto the next one. I intend to do it following the 3-day space and too keep the link, I am posting it here so that I can quickly go back to the site and browse. 

I plan to keep the journal here as i take another journey to the road less traveled. 


Lesson 1: What is Meditation? 
Dedicating yourself to a regular meditation practice truly has the power to completely transform your life.
Journal entry: my personal reasons for meditating is to gain the following benefits:
Mental: reduced stress and anxiety, greater sense of relaxation and inner peace
Physical: decreased muscle fatigue and tension
Spiritual: greater sense of self-awareness


I had difficulty paying attention to what i was experiencing, the noise around me. I cannot divert myself away from the usual thoughts I have. But i know that it will take constant practice to get myself used to it. 


Lesson 2: The Basics of Meditation
Meditation de-clutters your mind of counterproductive thoughts so that more space is created for happiness, inner peace and a joy for living.
Journal entry: what I always dreaded for practicing meditation happened tonight. Following the instructions in lesson 2, I had a hard time listening to the sound of silence. But I will try to make it a habit everyday until I reached the stage of detaching myself from my own thoughts and reconnecting to silence.

Sunday, November 27, 2011

Looking forward, looking back...

I always look forward to Fr. Roy celebrating the English mass in Aimutin because of his homily. Today is the first Sunday of Advent, the beginning of a new calendar year for the Catholic Church. His homily revolved around how to begin a new year. To do this, he said you have to look back in order to look forward. Meaning, reflect on what happened in the past year and think of how next year could be better. 

Looking forward, looking back. A short line but full of meaning which made me reflect on how has been this year to me. I would say that 2011 has been good to me although the beginning was challenging with mama's health condition. But I am indeed thankful for she managed to sustain her good health condition after her hospital confinement in January. I would always be grateful to my family and relatives who have been with her during my absence. 

Personally, I have become stronger and braver. I don't know if it goes with the age but I have made decisions which I knew I wouldn't take 5 years ago both personally and professionally. 

This year also marked the year when one of my fondest dream came true. I acquired something I longed to have. A decision which I braved to take.  

I left the perks and comfort of being a UNV in UNDP. I loved my work, but I couldn't sense any fulfillment in what I was doing. I took this decision without any regrets. Now, I am enjoying my work despite the challenges ahead of me for I am starting a break-through in the monitoring and evaluation system of our organization. The first few weeks were difficult but I am now well-settled with my work and living environment. 

Love life has also been good. The beginning of the year started well. Despite all the complications, I am still there. However, I have become stronger and braver to show him that I can let go of him, no matter how difficult it might be. Because of this, he has improved a lot, he is back to where we started. 

With the help of internet, family gets closer despite the distance.  

I found new friends in Timor Leste which made adjustment, life and living less challenging. Old friends remained to be good and more closer. Old friends mean high school and my two best buddies, Miriam and Jessamyn who may never understand some of my decisions in life but they have remained to be there for me. 

Looking back, I have so much to be thankful for. I just hope it would continue to be until the end of this year. Looking forward, I do hope 2012 would be a better year for me, if not, at least the same as this year. 

I uttered a short prayer intention after the homily, a prayer I have been praying for a long time. I leave it up to His mighty hands if 2012 would be the right time for Him to give it to me. 

Sunday, November 13, 2011

Sta. Cruz Massacre...20 Years After

Timor Leste is commemorating today the Sta. Cruz massacre in Dili. I did not bother myself to find out the story about this historic event until around 8:30 today, Rey, my neighbor and I decided to have our comfort foods at Aru. As we were getting out of our compound, I noticed lighted white candles outside several houses in our neighborhood. Only then I remembered that today, Timor Leste marks the 20th anniversary of Sta. Cruz Massacre. All the more I became curious about the story behind it as we continued driving to the main road and saw more lighted candles outside houses, children and adults alike joined together in lighting candles or watching the lighted ones. Even along the beach road there were floating lighted candles in the sea. Because of this sight, I requested Rey if we could drive around Sta. Cruz cemetery and see what is happening there, but the area was blocked which would mean we have to walk to get closer to the cemetery, an option which I did not take. So, we moved on and while inside the car, I was thinking in admiration how impressive every Timorese's participation in commemorating this tragic event in their country's history. 

After our coffee and cake, I googled Sta. Cruz Massacre from the web when I reached home. Of all the links I found, I liked the brief and concise story about it by friends of Timor. While reading this article, all the more I understood this tradition of lighting candles outside their houses. Related or not to any of those who died, it's a show of sympathy to those victims as well as a prayer offering. A symbolic and historic landmarks of their fight for independence. 

Once you read the story below, you would understand and, feel with them the pain of it though 20 years has already gone. I also came to realize how forgiving the Timorese are, despite the freshness of their experience during the Indonesian occupation, they have never resented the presence of Indonesians in their country. Read below and be touched by it!

Source: http://www.friendsoftimor.com/santa_cruz_massacre.php


Santa Cruz Massacre - A Black Day in Timor's History



The Dili massacre (also known as the Santa Cruz massacre) was the shooting of East Timorese protesters, in the Santa Cruz cemetery in the capital, Dili, on 12 November 1991.

The protesters, mainly students, launched their protest against Indonesian rule at the funeral of a fellow student, Sebastião Gomes, who had been shot dead by Indonesian troops the month before. The students had been anticipating the arrival of a parliamentary delegation from Portugal, which was still legally recognised by the United Nations as the administering power. This had been cancelled after Jakarta objected to the inclusion in the delegation of Jill Joliffe, an Australian journalist whom it regarded as supportive of the Fretilin independence movement.

At the funeral procession, students unfurled banners calling for self-determination and independence, displaying pictures of the independence leader Xanana Gusmão. As the procession entered the cemetery, Indonesian troops opened fire. Of the people demonstrating in the cemetery, 271 were killed, 382 wounded, and 250 disappeared. One of the dead was a New Zealander, Kamal Bamadhaj, a political science student and human rights activist based in Australia.

The television pictures of the massacre were shown worldwide, causing the Indonesian government considerable embarrassment. In Portugal and Australia, both of which had sizeable East Timorese communities, there was a public outcry.The massacre was eyewitnessed by two American journalists—Amy Goodman and Allan Nairn—and caught on videotape by Max Stahl, who was filming undercover for Yorkshire Television in the UK. The camera crew managed to smuggle the video footage to Australia. They gave it to Saskia Kouwenburg, a Dutch journalist to avoid it being seized and confiscated by the Australian authorities, who had been tipped off by Indonesia and subjected the camera crew to a strip-search when they arrived in Darwin. The video footage was used in the First Tuesday documentary In Cold Blood: The Massacre of East Timor, shown on ITV in the UK in January, 1992.

Many Portuguese felt bad about their country's effective abandonment of their former colony in 1975, and were moved by the footage of people shouting and praying in Portuguese. Similarly, many Australians felt ashamed at their government's support for the repressive Suharto regime in Indonesia, and what they saw as the betrayal of a people who had fought with Australian troops against the Japanese in the Second World War.

The massacre (also euphemistically called the Dili Incident by the Indonesian government) was likened to the Sharpeville Massacre in South Africa in 1960, in which unarmed protesters were also shot dead, and which saw the apartheid regime subjected to international condemnation.Although it prompted the Portuguese government to step up its diplomatic campaign, for the Australian government, the killings were, in the words of foreign minister Gareth Evans, 'an aberration'.
Now commemorated as a public holiday in an independent East Timor, 12th November is remembered by the East Timorese as one of the bloodiest days in their history, which gained international attention to their fight for independence.

Saturday, November 12, 2011

Cultural Practice 1 in Timor Leste - Death

He is one of those local staff who is open to learning new things and always welcome the idea of mentoring and coaching. This morning I went to his office to orient him about the link of M&E with the project log frame. Before I was able to start, he told me about the death of his mother's younger sister and grandfather. After saying my words of sympathy, I took this as an opportunity to validate what I know about Timorese cultural practice about death in a family.  

He started with financial implications of death. As family/relative of a dead person, everyone is expected to contribute something. Expectations from a working relative is higher because it is equated to ability to contribute more. According to him, the amount of contributions depend on the degree of relationship. In his case, these two deaths would cost him so much because one is a grandfather and the other one is an auntie. The amount expected for this degree should not be less than US$50 plus rice and vehicle rental to transport family members/relatives to the district where the dead person will be buried which is usually the hometown or birth place. Instead of giving voluntarily, in Timor Leste, it is mandatory. For an average family, US$50 is a huge amount.  

I asked my colleague if it's fine with them. He explained to me how difficult it is for them but because it is a cultural practice, they must follow the tradition. I asked what would be the consequence if he won't give anything or he would give less. It's either disowning him as member of the family, or he will be subjected to negative comments and during deaths in his immediate family they will get even with you by doing the same thing. He told me that his salary is actually enough to feed his family but no matter how hard he tried and how much he save out of his salary, at one point in time, he would withdraw the money during such situation. it's like saving for this event or weddings in the family rather than saving for his family's future.    

This culture was also similar to what we had back then in the Philippines, like waiting for family members to attend the wake even if takes a long period of waiting, contributing something voluntarily but at least it is not mandatory. Not that this culture has been eroded in the Philippines but we have seen the practical side of it, we don't expect families/relatives to give something but their presence at their own expense is more than enough for us. This similarity though made me ask myself if it's a cultural inheritance from our Spanish roots and their Portuguese roots, our common religion or our regional roots as South East Asian. 

Cultural practices in Timor Leste is still very high but I hope, they would soon realize the downside of some of their traditions. Instead of regarding it as a value it becomes a burden to families and relatives. 

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Trip to Atauro

This is my first attempt to make a photo story of my trip to Atauro Island. This Island according to wikipedia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Atauro_Islandis....

Atauro Island (also Ilha de AtauroAta'uro) is a small island situated 25km north of DiliEast Timor, on the extinct Wetar segment of the volcanic Inner Banda Arc, between the Indonesian islands of Alor and Wetar. Politically it comprises one of the subdistricts of the Dili District of East Timor. It is about 25 km long and 9 km wide, about 105 km² in area, and is inhabited by about 8000 people. The nearest island is the Indonesian island of Liran, 12 km to the northeast. 
This was the ferry taxi which started off at Dili near the Maritime Office. It is usually hired which makes it expensive but there is no choice since the big boat goes to Atauro only on Saturdays. 


Our life is entrusted to 'maun' Pilot...maun is a term used as a sign of respect for men. He had a hard time initially to start the engine. He even decided to go back to the shore and change the ferry taxi but then engine worked well as he was reversing so, we continued with it. It was a bumpy ride and I couldn't even let go of my arms from holding on the railings to make sure I am not thrown out of the boat. 

This is the humble port of Atauro. There is only one big ship which travels here  every Saturday. It took us an hour to reach this port. 

It was low tide when we arrived at the port of Atauro which made these sea grasses visible. I was worried that I might drop my camera so, I did not take any photo of other marine species along the shore and under the clear blue waters. 

The taxi-ferry just dropped us. With us are vegetables for the resort where we stayed.  In less than 30 minutes, the taxi went back to Dili. 
Barry's place welcome you with complementary breakfast since it was only around 9AM when we reached his place. It was a buffet breakfast with a good selection of menu to choose from.  After our delicious breakfast and after checking in, we started off to the Aldeias (villages) we need to visit. This was our boat that took us there.  


We stayed at this place unofficially called "Barry's Place", Barry- the owner's name and place, as in literally his place. During our conversation with him, he doesn't have any official name for his place but because people call it "Barry's place, it became known like that. No advertisement and not on any travel guidebooks, as he doesn't want it. Promotion is by word of mouth. 

It took us a while to travel due to the difficulty in finding a place for docking since it was low tide. These children from Baruana Pre-primary school and ECCD were eagerly waiting for us. They were so excited to meet us. I noticed though that most them were barefooted. They guided us on our way to the school.

I was just amazed by these stones that I took a photo of it. One of my favorite photo subjects. 

Up close, there was this tiny crab perched on the stone. 

The children who walked with us to the Aldeia proper  where we are going to meet other students , key leaders and their parents. 

Pre-School children in our supported ECCD Center. I felt guilty when the volunteer-teachers were sharing their stories. They were so grateful of the assistance received from my organization. We have worked here for 3 years and my organization is very popular. The staff assigned here knows almost everyone not only in this Aldeia but the entire Atauro Island. The community shared their stories, the gains of the project and the continuing challenges they are facing. I felt guilty when one of them mentioned that their allowance is only USD20 a year while on that day, I was wearing a slipper which costed me the same amount they are getting as 'salary' for teaching these children. 
This is one of our projects. Significant changes include:...our children has improved their reading and writing skills. Because of the book club which was organized through the project, our children are able to teach other kids on how to read and write.....we are housed in a comfortable classroom....learning became fun and interesting...etc. 

A Catholic Church in Baruana. Before we started the meeting, an opening prayer was led by a 'traditional priest' while the closing prayer was given by the Protestant Pastor. 


I was amazed by the shape of this....their school bell to signal start or end of the classes. 
another type of school bell...
The 3rd of its kind...school bell
The entire crew of our small boat which helped in pushing the boat to the shoreline so we wouldn't get wet once we got off the boat. 

We passed by her house on our way out from the school. I requested if I could have a picture of her, which she eagerly said yes!


Children swimming using their improvised 'life-saver'
I really admire this toilet and bath. The toilet is open pit for organic composting while bathroon is using a ladle to bath rather than a shower which consumes much more water than necessary.


This is one of the cottages as Barry's Place. A tent is pitched  inside the cottage. 


This was our cottage. It has 6 beds inside including the double-bed on the 2nd floor. 

This pregnant woman passed by after the sun rise. The basket is a common carrier hanged on the head with the sling right on the forehead. 


The lovely sun rise. I was able to capture this while this father and son were walking along the shoreline, ready to start early with whatever they are doing everyday. 



It was market day on our 2nd day in Atauro. The market was just beside Barry's Place and very close to the port. 

One of their products for sale.

We used this on our way back to Dili. It only cost $5 each person . We stayed on the deck for more ventilation even though our ticket was for 1st class seat. It took us 2 1/2 hours to travel. 

As we were leaving Atauro Island....

Dolphins...

The children who managed to reach this area where the rope for the boats anchor  is tied. 

Atauro Island from afar....

Berlin Nakroma, the name of the ship but it has a giant TL flag. 

As we were approaching Dili, the Cristo Rei from afar...

One of the ships in the coast of Dili 

Dili from a distance

The Dili Port

One of the income-generating activities in Atauro Island which  sells  all types of bag. It serves as one of the 2 souvenir shops in the Island.