The Risen Lord in Me

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What struck me most from all the homilies during the 3-day celebration of the passion of Christ was the message during the Easter Vigil mass that was ‘Don’t lose heart; God is at work in your lives’. Many times I have told friends and even clergy friends, I have stopped praying for something because for so long I have been praying for it but I always end up getting not what I have prayed for. My clergy friends react in silence but other friends would keep assuring me, in His time.

In all my assignments, this is the first time I have observed Holy Week from start to finish. Even when I was working with Caritas in Zambia, Holy Week was an opportunity for me to spend holidays exploring nearby countries or other places within the country. This year, it’s different. I’m not sure if it’s because of different priorities, the geographical nature of Timor-Leste, the solemnity of the celebration, or the crossroads I am trekking at the moment. Whatever the reason(s), I am glad for this transformation in my life. For 3 years now, I am in a situation where I always find myself asking if I am doing the right thing or oftentimes finding a reason to justify it. I wanted to get out of it but I always find myself pulled back and in the end, I am once again trapped. The realization during this Lenten celebration is clear to me and all I am asking is wisdom to think properly and clearly so that I could lead myself to making the right decision. Strength to carry all the pains I am and will be going through for taking this decision. I know it won’t be easy as I thought it would be, but these two things are all I am asking for, to set myself free from this trap. A trap which led me to deception, cheating, countless pains, drenched pillows from tears, unaccounted phone calls, sleepless nights, trips back and forth to SOS hospital in Ha Noi.  Decision made which transformed me to a different person.  


On the celebration of the risen Lord, is also a resurrection within me. It’s not going to be easy but like the message of the Easter Vigil, I should not lose heart because God is working in my life. Happy Easter!